Things aren't going as planned.
9:48 am I woke up late. Last night I forgot to set the alarm. I wasn't aware of the fact that I had to get up early in the morning for I have to go to work today.
Things that I messed up today
- I missed working out this morning.
- I didn't make the tiffin for my self today.
- I am filling guilty.
- I am literally writing this because I am feeling guilty and I won't make things correct.
How I am planning to make things write again
- I feel like I need to address the workout mistake first. So as soon as I will be home today, I will focus on the timing for work out.
- I need to get back to my diet schedule again. That's something holding me back from a lot of things that I really want to do.
- Guilt. I can not address my guilt so that it doesn't exist anymore. I can address the reason behind this guilt, which intern will help the guilt go away. And that's the plan for guilt. Burning the root of it.
- Writing is something I don't feel is a mistake, but I just don't want to write because I feel guilty. I want to write because I love it. Though it's also a fact that I am writing all this not just because I feel guilty but also because I love to write when I feel like that.
- Focus is something that is missing from my life. I know that consistency is a big player in terms of reaching your goal.
"Achievement is not a PERFECT accident, rather a numbers game. More you try, more you are likely to achieve" - Me
- I want to continue using Twitter, Tumblr and Facebook in a moderated but consistent way to make the most out of them without overwhelming the very idea of using it.
I feel soo good when writing. I can not explain how relieved I feel after a long writing session. Focused and really focused on what I want to write.
10:31 pm I am writing again. I skipped working out today. I knew that taking a day off won't kill me. it's just that I need to hear it from someone other than myself. I asked "should I skip a day of working out? will that be okay?" in a Facebook group and everyone who commented said that "hey, it's okay to take a day off. Just start again from tomorrow." I just needed someone to tell me that. I was tired as I came home late. Felt like I needed to sleep a bit. I had my food. Took my time and slept for a bit. Woke up and now I am here writing this.
I will be working on Django for a while. Then will take a look at the dart book. I am trying to focus a bit more the dart side a bit. I want to learn something new just for the sake of feeling excited!
One thing that I felt strongly this week
I was super excited to publish the writing about the "light speed" problem on medium. I was hoping that maybe my submission to the publication will be accepted and then I will start promoting the article. People will love the concept and will appreciate the theory and the reality behind it.
But that did not happen
What happened made me realise something important. I not only wanted to write that article to let people know about the subject but I also wanted to write that article because I felt the need to write that piece. I just wanted to share what was inside me. But as soon as I started to give the subject a shape of an article, I started to change my motive. I started to think that what people might think about reading this. How can I let others know of this one? But I never needed to do that. Or I should never do that. I should just write for myself. I should just write because I want to write. I should not care soo much about how others feel about what I write.
I started to feel bad as soon as I realised that people weren't interested in what I wrote
And that made me sad. I don't want that to happen again with me. Because that sad moment started to spread across my entire daily routine and ate up all my energy to be doing anything else properly.